"Growing"

photo credit - tico_bassie

Spring is in the air, or at least I would like it to be.  Though there is still snow on the ground here in Kansas, my thoughts have already turned to warmer days and the new possibilites for growth.

Earlier this month, as I pondered a theme for March on A Bird in the Hand, I found myself getting excessively  frustrated.  I couldn't think of anything, that I could write about, that someone else couldn't already do better and write about more eloquently.  My intention isn't for this blog to become a competition between the contributors (especially if I was going to lose *wink*), but I did want to be able to speak knowledgeably about a subject if I was going to write about it.  Every time I thought of a subject (cleaning, parenting, beauty, grace, being a godly wife...) my mind would go absolutely blank.  I began to panic - "It's my turn to pick!", "I have to come up with something!", "I can't let the team down!" "think, think, think!!".

I spent a ridiculous amount of brain cells, striving just to pick a simple theme.  And then it dawned on me, I haven't taken this to the Lord.  I had prayed about it...sort of, but had I really sought the Lord for an answer?...no.  I immediately dropped my heart to it's knees and began to pray.  He answered.  Though He did not immediately give me the answer to my question, like I wanted (of course).  He lovingly pointed out where I was missing the mark.  I cannot wait until I have all the answers to share with others.  If I wait, I will be sharing with others directly from my own proud heart, instead of from His gracious wisdom.

Matthew 6:27-29  Which of you by worrying can add one cubit to his stature?  “So why do you worry about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin;  and yet I say to you that even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these.

photo credit - unknown

My desire is not to "toil or spin" in my own efforts, but to grow like a lily, walk in the light of my Creator, and allow my roots to dig deep into Him alone.

So the topic was chosen, not because I can speak intelligently on the subject, but simply because I need to grow.  And though it is easier to wait until I feel confident in what I am sharing, I believe the Lord will be able to use me more effectively when I am vulnerable with Him, and also vulnerable with you.

And just to show you how much work I really need, even after this wonderful revelation, in my weakness and insecurity, I still had to ask one of the other contributors if they liked the topic before beginning to write about it. - I may never learn.  Thank the Lord for his undying grace toward me, I am so undeserving!